Unf*ck Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life

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If you view success as something that’s just around the corner, you’ll work you butt off to achieve your goal and will be energized and alive. Look at stumbles not as “This is a misfortune, but “to bear this worthily is good fortune.” All the stuff about "YOU are responsible for your situation... If you live in a shitty house, have a shitty job, make shit money, etc... Nobody is to blame but you. You have to choose to change it. You can choose to work more/harder/better to make more money, or get a better place... It's on you and nobody else, so fix it if you want better." Other points: Embrace uncertainty—it’s the only way to change—by not being comfortable all the time. You will get judged—for the novel you write or the business you start. You’ll go on dates to meet someone special and sometimes he’ll be boring or sometimes he won’t find you charming and attractive, but you took action to find romance and maybe you learned a thing or two. He talks a lot about our self talk and how we can talk ourselves out of taking actions because we’ve decided whatever the goal is, we’re too stupid or the goal is too unrealistically hard. Positive self-talk can dramatically improve mood, boost confidence, and increase positivity. “The more you tell yourself how hard something is, the harder it will actually seem.” Even things like doing laundry or vacuuming can seem overwhelming.

This no-nonsense guide will help you shut up that hateful inner critic and get you feeling more positive about yourself and your life.”— Women’s Health The other cause for disappointment and giving up is our expectations. Expect the unexpected. The unhappiness lies in the gap between hidden expectations and reality. In marriages, the biggest cause of discord is unmet expectations. Don’t expect victory or defeat. Plan for victory, learn from defeat. Sometimes we all need a little help moving forward and often the most significant barrier to success is our minds.[Bishop] shares tools and advice you need to demolish the baggage weighing you down.”— Lexington Herald LeaderAt one point or another, we’ve all been guilty of getting too in-our-heads about something…. A no-frills look at overcoming anxiety… guides you through getting out of negative self-talk and into your best self.”— Refinery 29 It’s not about psyching yourself up. Don’t wait for the mood to strike. Just do it. Your mind will remind you of all the other things you could be doing and bring out your doubts, but by taking action, you’ll shut down those other thoughts and start feeling empowered to change. The main idea this book presents is that you can’t just sit around waiting for life to hand you things or for you to be ‘ready’ to face certain challenges that come with making positive changes. Although the message is a good one, the manner in which the author conveys it does come off as a little bit aggressive at times, and I could see how one could be turned off by that. Usually with these types of books, there is an ‘aha moment’ for me, and even though some of his insight was important and something I needed to hear, I just didn’t feel that. For this reason, I have given it a 2, however, if I really think about it, it was probably closer to a 3 as I did enjoy it for the most part – I just didn’t feel as strongly about it as I would have liked.

Putting Unfu*k Yourself in the self-help category is selling it short. Instead, it belongs in the self-help/motivation/comedy/ inspiration/oh-man-I-do-that-BS-all-the-time/personal-and-professional-development section of the bookstore. The Manual

The main point is not just about getting yourself in the right frame of mind, it’s about taking actions every day to meet your goals and not coming up with excuses like you didn’t sleep well the night before. He’s very big on not talking about what we’re going to . . . later. You have to start to talk like “I accept,” “I embrace,” “I assert.” There’s a big difference between “I am relentless” and “I’m going to be relentless.” Quite liked this. Straight talking, no bullshit, easy language, and a fast read. Bishop details seven "personal assertions" to live your life by: One of my biggest gripes with this text is that Gary seems to contradict himself throughout it and complicates his overall message. He is adamant that this is not another self-help book that focuses on positive thinking; however, it is one of the first concepts he introduces. In sum, he teaches that assertive language affects emotions, feelings, and ultimately decision making and that one should engage in healthy inner dialogue. He also later bashes the quote, "Change your thoughts, change your life," calling it bullsh*t. Where he is attempting to go with this is to say that actions speak louder than words and no matter what you think, unless you take action, your life will not change. There was some good in this book. Reframing negative thoughts and habits, and being more positive and considerate with ourselves, and accepting that shit will go wrong and just rolling with it and continuing on anyway. Pushing ourselves to the goal we claim we want but don't work towards, not waiting for some magically perfect time to do it, or for it to just happen, but just getting on with it. All of this I can get behind.